Chipmunks and
Christmas Drinking

 

 

CHIPMUNKS

 


All this bollocks goes to show is that chipmunks have three marvellous things going for them:
1: They don’t need drugs … unless we need them to help us with scientific experiments; which is the main use for chipmunks and the reason why God created them. There’s a great scientific research lab-game called dead chipmunk Binsket Ball
World Record: forty feet, with a low ceiling


2: They don’t have to spend their lives interacting with human assorted fuckwits and assholes (stress and anxiety are big contributors towards strokes).


3: They don’t give a fuck (a fabulous quality when used correctly).
See: The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck
By Sarah Knight

 

 

Christmas Day drinking


34% start drinking early in the morning
47% by noon.


The pathetic poll goes to show that 19% of people are miserable, unsociable bastards; especially teetotallers.


Question: Why isn’t abstention from alcohol called teatotal and not some stupid, meaningless golfing term?

Back